Poor/ All my life I've always been Poor/ I keep asking God what I'm for/And He tells me "gee I'm not sure"/Sweep that floor, kid

We are lining up to start the show. I am 4th. We have red costumes with sequins on them and heavy headdresses. I hug the girl behind me. It's a rehearsal - our last rehearsal and the first 3 girls come out singing their parts of the song. It goes quiet and I am supposed to run down the steps and start my part of the song as they run away, but I get there and I don't know how the song goes or what I am supposed to sing. I don't remember rehearsing this at all, and the only song that is going through my head to sing is Seymour's first solo in "Skid Row" from Little Shop of Horrors. So I tell the music director, who is sitting in the second row behind a giant screen, and he and the director are mad - they say that I was doing so well and did such a cute job with the beginning. I tell him that I have another song stuck in my head and it's keeping me from singing my actual part. They say something like "well that'll do it" and have me come down into the audience to look at the words. Maybe if I can see the words, I can remember them. I stand with him in front of the screen, and watch him delete things - he starts to delete my part. I have no recollection of any of what I am supposed to be singing. I don't recognize any of it. I am confused but not upset or worried - just really irritated.

I head back up to the stage to try again, but it's no use, nothing comes to mind. I try making up words and as it is I can barely hear the music. I am angry at this point because I have had no rehearsal, and I think that it's just ridiculous for us not to have rehearsed it. I don't bother explaining this to them, because at this point I figure they won't believe me so I tell them to just cut me out of the show.

This week on the amazing race

I am in my high school gym looking at the proscenium theatre. There is furniture all over the place, some of it covered in sheets. TL is there and she is a lawyer. There is furniture on the stage and one of her clients is terrified and hiding behind a large wardrobe -- someone is chasing her. I don't see what happens but I hear gunshots and I know that TL has shot whoever was chasing her client.

I walk along the hallways and Oprah is filming a show in the rooms upstairs. I sit on a carpeted box and watch her talk to people on the front of the stage. Julia Roberts is sitting next to me and we start talking about symmetry in faces and nature. She has a knit cap pulled down over her head and she is very pretty. Oprah walks over near us and is talking about some product. I make a fiona "yuk" face and she laughs and says she'll pretend like she didn't see that. I figure that it's for legal reasons. TL is creeping in among the crowd and there is murmuring. She is a murderer. She is there to talk about her side of the story but I can see she is going to chicken out.

Now I am on the Ganges river. There are boats that have rubber walkways that arc over their topdecks and dip down into the water. They look like filmstrips. They are ribbed like ladders and the locals climb down the sides and perch on the edges in the water to row and pull the boats along. I am in a contest and I have to climb down the sides, row the boat to a structure in the river and maneuver it with the oars to back it into a dock. I climb down without hesitation. I want to win, and so I ignore the fact that the river is filthy and that fish will bite my legs. I am wearing a sari so I hoist it up and straddle the edge and start to row. I am surprised at how strong I am and how quickly I move the boat along. I keep thinking that if I were really here that I would feel the fish biting me. I have no trouble backing the boat into the dock and when it's moored, I jump off onto the scaffolding of the structure and climb up into the center.

As I make my way up the metal walkways and escalators, I see TL again. She tells me she is making her way to Bear Stearns to apologize and asks if I think that she is doing the right thing and wants to know if it will give her peace of mind. I don't know what to say so I say something like "talk to god and see what he says" and jump on the next escalator.

Chocolate Syrup+Milk+Seltzer

I am watching Arrested Development - but it's being done like a passion play where you follow the cast around to the stations of the cross. At some point it stops being that show and turns into several spin offs. I stop and make myself an egg creme - but instead of regular chocolate syrup I am using some expensive chocolate from south america.

We are going into a breakfast nook. Women only. Surrounded by windows - it's an overcast day and the room itself juts out over the ocean. As we step into the room, we grab a comforter and drop down onto pillows littering the floor. There is a teenage girl talking loudly on the phone and her mother is shushing her. Another woman looks out the window to watch her twin boys play in the sand. It feels like some shabby chic moon bounce. Twynnie is there but I think she is in another room.

At a place called Vertigo

V and I are climbing to the top of a very tall wooden tower. It is nightime and windy and the lights of the city spread out below us. There are platforms on the top and as we scramble over the last one we see two men sitting there. One of them is SJ, and we are so glad to see him - haven't seen him in ages! I don't know the other man. There is no barrier on the platform, just the lights and the buildings and the wind. My vertigo starts to kick in. I have to close my eyes and I know that if I don't get down, it will be Chichen Itza all over again and I will never be able to get down. I tell V that it is starting and that I have to climb down right now. I make my way down the planks with my eyes half open. Some of the beams pull away just after I take my hands off of them, and I see the rusty nails jutting out from their sides. The bottom of the tower is in the lobby of a hotel. There is a ticket booth in the base of the tower and I walk towards the open doorway of a busy restaurant and wait for V to join me. I stand and watch people coming out of the elevator banks while I wait. When I see V, we head over towards another restaurant that is outside. As we pass the ticket booth I see PG bending his head towards the ticket booth window. He is being an asshole and demanding something from them. He is wearing a tattered blue and green plaid robe. I don't want him to see us so we duck as we scuttle by and take a seat at our table outside. The waiter brings us water and thankfully they seat PG behind us so he doesn't see us.

Good Ship Lollipop

There is black mold inside the walls. If you breathe it in, it will kill you. It will turn your brain into mush. It is behind the wall in the kitchen near the window and behind the trashcan as well. I am pulling away the wall.

I am walking through the corridors of a cruise ship. It's a huge ship and I peek into rooms and see people sitting down to dinner in evening clothes. In one room there is a table full of bags of candy for the taking. There are Snickers, Milky Ways, M&Ms, Twizzlers and tons more. AG is there and she is stuffing her suitcase. I grab a bag of Snickers, but then decide that it would be a drag to carry it in my backpack - and besides, they'll probably have better candy once we get to Italy. So I grab some Twizzlers from an open bag and head down a different hallway.

I am in a giant hotel room. I am looking out the window at horses crossing the fields. I am in my underwear and I go to lie down on the bed. I am waiting for someone to come back. I think it's Ian McShane but it keeps changing. There are 3 children there and they are jumping all over the place, even though it's time for them to go to bed. I put them into another room - it's a sunken room just off the main room with 3 tiny beds in it. I tuck them all in and sing to them.

I am in a McDonalds in Europe. I am Madonna. There are rows and rows of coloured donuts behind the counters. I grab a hold of Tom Selleck and pull him into the bathroom to have sex with him. It's hard to find a stall that isn't filthy. Now I am me again and I am outside the stall where they are having sex and I am walking to a car that is waiting for me outside the gas station.

Shrink Wrap

I am looking through a window and it's CSI. They have found a family that has been murdered. They put the bodies in what looks like the capsules from Japanese business hotels and throw crystals inside and press buttons. The crystals form smoke which dehydrates the bodies and shrink wraps them. A technician notices that the smallest one is shrink wrapped the tightest - the others have wrinkles in the plastic.

Now I think the problem is playing too much "Oddworld"

Everywhere I look there are golden things that I know I need to pick up. Bullets fly and rockets soar. I run through the jungle. How do I check my ammo?

Clear Blue Water

There is a giant cake. It is surrounded by 50 or 60 filmmakers - each one given a section of the cake to ice and decorate. The cake takes up almost the entire block. I recognize Kevin Smith slathering vanilla icing and sprinkles across his section. When it is done we are all invited to reach into it and grab a hunk to eat. I see Courtney Love stepping across the section on the other side. My friend and I take a running jump and land in the middle of the cake - I know there is yellow cake in the middle and I want yellow or white cake, not chocolate. I grab a hunk of white cake with colored sprinkles and when I hold it in my hand it is perfectly round.

This room is high above the beach. I am watching the waves crash on the shore and people swimming. The water is incredibly clear - I have never seen the ocean so clear and I call to V to come and look at it. The waves are getting bigger and bigger - they are perfect. I want to hurry up and get down to the beach to run in the water and try to surf them. Then I notice that they are getting bigger and coming in faster. A wave hits and the spray is so big it comes in through the window - despite the fact that we are 20-30 stories above the ocean. Then I notice that there are no more people on the beach - it's been evacuated. The waves are crashing onto the building.

I am wearing a tattered nightgown, and I change very slowly out of it into a camisole and panties set that reminds me of neopolitan ice cream.

Sin City + Thai Food =

We are in a warehouse and carrying a wooden box that has the body of a dismembered woman in it. The foreman is evil and will kill us if he finds us. We have no choice but to stash the box among similar looking boxes on the shelves and will come back for it later. We run through the corridors of boxes and machines as quietly as we can until we get to the elevator and take a flying leap to land inside it as it's closing

Then we are wandering around a children's store and something is hanging in the air. It's a feeling of something bad about to happen. There is a giant rack of cotton candy near me and I am holding hands with a child I don't know. I take him over to where the restrooms are but they are locked. There is a homeless man sleeping there. I crouch down to the bottom of the door and see a tiny space that leads out to green fields and trees.

Crunch

I am parking the volvo wagon and the space has a brick wall at the end of it. As I inch into the spot I hear something that sounds like gas flooding the engine and the car suddenly lurches forward like I have hit the gas. I crash into the brick wall and crunch the front of the car like an accordian. I wonder how much money this is going to cost

Then I am wandering through what looks like the Kennedy Center.