I took a ride

We are filming a movie and Dennis Leary is the Production Manager. We are watching the dailies but it is a stage show. There are 10 children on the stage and they are doing a routine. The theatre is the Apollo up in Harlem and I am in the same seat that I watched EH's dance recital in. The children are out of step but it is part of the story. They are incredible. I turn to the writer and tell him that he is sure to be nominated.

We have a meeting in the apartment where we used to watch the fireworks over the Washington Monument on the 4th of July. I go out the window and am floating over a meadow that I don't recognize. I pass through the trees and can feel the leaves against my face. Someone is playing "Angels Heap" but the words are different. The sun is warm but not too hot.

Now we are in a different theatre full of children. They appear to have been drugged because they are acting like they are on acid. They've been locked in here to keep them safe. It's been a day and they are finally coming down from their trip. We let them file out of the theatre when they are okay and finally there is only one girl left. A woman appears who says she is her mother and we start to let her in, but then the other caretaker and I look at each other and something between us tells us everything is wrong. She is not her mother and means the girl harm. We run back into the theatre and she is shaking the girl and hurling abuse at her and I pull her off and she attacks me. I pull a corkscrew out of my pocket and stab her with it, pulling a huge chunk out of her gut.

Now I am in our old living room at RH with my parents and we have visitors. It's a blonde woman, a blonde man and a dark haired man. They stand in the living room and we chat. The dark haired man says he is Persian and likes our art. Then they come back later and my dad continues to talk about Persia even though the dark haired man isn't there anymore. We are all shuffling because it's so awkward. I see my dad realize that he is talking to the wrong person, and he makes an excuse to go to the bookshelf to look closer at the man and see who he is. His glasses are thicker than I have ever seen them and I realize that the chemo is causing him to go blind.

Oh Black Water

There is a pool of dark water. As you get closer to it, it gets clear and gorgeous, and that is how it lures you in. When you get near it or look down into it, something snaps out of the water and drags you under or cuts you deeply so you bleed to death. There is a CSI team there looking at a helicopter that tried to rescue someone in the water and came too close.

I am 8 years old and my mother is a television actress. We used to have another sister but she died or is missing. Underneath her nightstand is a perfume oil. I sneak into the bedroom and take it and put some on. Later on I put it back. I run up the stairs and now I am a teenager and I am in Europe with my parents. They tell me that it's okay for me to go off by myself and suddenly I am standing with them as an adult watching the teenage me walk away down the street. I see myself bump into my aunt and chat with her and I have the same haircut I had in high school. Adult me tells my parents that I liked it when they used to let me wander London by myself.

The Old Post Office

I am shopping with a woman who is not my mother. She has a baby. I am 15 years old and I am not myself, I am another girl. There is a boy following me through the streets and stores. He is very cute and keeps asking me out but I am too shy and keep saying no. He continues to follow me. We are walking down the street and I mention it to the woman who is not my mother and we discuss him for a bit. I see him behind us on a bicycle. He rides up sweeps me off my feet and kisses me.

There is a convention in this hotel. The hotel looks like the pictures of the center of The Old Post Office in Washington D.C. and people crowd around the middle space and hang off the rafters. We are varnishing the wrought iron railings and it's hard, sticky work but they shine so beautifully when you finish and the work is very satisfying. Candace Bergen is standing behind us.

Then we are running through the hotel. A man is following us and we are running through lobbies and hallways and it feels like we are running in circles but it's always different. There are stores all over, around every corner, specialty stores and then we are in the forest. I see a girl find a tree that is spouting sugar and we go to the ridge and look out over the city.

They aren't ready

I am a craftsman. I make colorful cement blocks for houses. I have made several different blocks of different colors. The ones I am working on are grey and have silver specks in them. It looks like soap. Someone is there to buy them. They pick out a set that look like vanilla brownies with nuts in them and when I go to pick them up they are still soft inside.

Then I am lying on a bed with that boy and we are looking at the window coverings. He says he likes the lines of the design. It's clean and nice. They have a block of red in them. The light is fading outside but we don't turn on the lamps.

Lips Like Sugar

It is a cruise ship but it also has military assignments. Inside one of the cabins is another ocean and I jump aboard a bed that is floating on it. On this ocean it is nighttime and so I take all of my clothes off except for my jeans. That boy and I kiss each other until we fall asleep. His lips are made of taffy and I feel like I could chew on them all night.

Come stand reeling to the shore

I don't recognize this beach. I guess it's the Pacific but it feels like the Atlantic. It looks like Santa Barbara. The waves are crashing erratically and there are families and people crowding along the sand and the ocean. People are surfing. The waves are just right for surfing and occasionally there will be a huge monster wave that people try and tackle without success. Suddenly there is one surfer wearing a red and black wetsuit that careens over a monster wave. He has a bungie cord attached to him and there is a jetski that pulls him along. He is amazing. He skims along the top of the wave and flips in the air as the jetski yanks him along. Then he disappears and the children run for the water again.

I am in the ocean floating and bobbing and looking at the sky. There is a girl with blonde braids next to me speaking Swedish. She is calling to her boyfriend who is paddling out into the water. There are too many people on the beach and I close my eyes and feel myself go under. My hair is in the sand and the waves rush over me. I see another huge wave coming and the amazing surfer cutting up the side and I know the water is going to cover me and I do nothing to stop it. I can feel the salt and the sand and my body is dragging in the sand. But I know when the wave drags me out that the sand will wash away. So I let the water take me and float out to sea. I look back and I've gone too far. The beach is deserted now except for the man on the jetski who is sandlogged and looking for the surfer and a few scattered people picking up towels. I swim sideways towards the shore the way DDL taught me when I was little but the undertow is strong. I feel the strength in my arms as I fight against it and I feel them getting stronger as I do the crawl towards the beach.

Then I am in a home that is a swingset. There are three children with blue blue eyes and I can't figure out if they belong to me. Then I see their mother and I know who's wife she is but she doesn't look like the pictures or how I remember her.